Just Another Case of the Blind Leading the Blind?

The Cap'n's other wall, his online messageboard, seems to be lacking in viewers of late, so let's give it the boost it so desperately needs. Yesterday, Cap'n Sanchez altered his campaign strategy to pursue that largest and most elusive of voting blocs, the nearsighted. He reasons thusly:

To date I have had 38 signs stolen of mine through out the city. Today in my neighborhood, everyone woke up to see the Robert Sanchez signs with curly mustaches and eyeglasses. Folks tell me they are kids, I tell them that they are adults acting like kids. My opponents campaign team just offended everyone that wears eyeglasses.

Can anyone enlighten me on how'd he get from kids --> to adults --> to a campaign team? And why the heck did everyone that has barbershop mustaches get a free pass from offense? They've got feelings, too.